When Ulric met Dusty

A Short American Road Trip Fantasy

Indian Trail Conservation Area is a park that covers thirteen and a half thousand acres in the middle of the US state of Missouri. Ulric Conri Volkov parked his campervan under the shade of a blackjack oak in the park in the late afternoon on a weekday during late spring in a year in the early part of the second quarter of the twenty-first century.

Ulric had been driving west since dawn with only short rest stops. The thirty six year old man wearing a seven year old flannel shirt climbed out of the van and peed behind a hickory tree in case someone stopped in the campground next to his. He could not see or hear any other people in the forest. Once Ulric felt relieved, he stretched his reasonably fit body, cleaned his hands using a nearby tap, and checked his watch, and decided it was too early to start making his dinner, so he secured his van, took a walk, and returned an hour later. He saw a handful of other campers, but he spoke to none of them.

Using a portable stove, Ulric cooked a beef stew for dinner. He sat in a camp chair and listened to a baseball game as he ate from a metal bowl. A cool breeze kept the mosquitoes at bay. Just as Ulric felt relaxed, he noticed a large German Shepard sitting in front of him and staring. Ulric took out his headphones and spoke to the point eared dog, “Can I help you, Big Fella?”

The dog whimpered, and Ulric noticed the white fanged canine did not have a collar. “Your owners are not responsible people,” Ulric commented. He stared harder at the dog and thought. He looks like he has some coyote in him. There’s silver grey patches in that black and brown. Is he a wild mutt?

The dog whimpered louder, so Ulric stood up while holding his bowl. He walked over to his cooler in his van and took out a hunk of hamburger. He threw the meat on the ground and told the dog, “You better not throw up for your owners if you are getting double dinner. Should be fine. Takes a lot to overfeed a dog of your size.”

Ulric sat back down and returned to listening to baseball while he ate his dinner and drank beer from a bottle. When the game had finished, Ulric saw the dog was sitting at his feet, so he filled the bowl up with water and gave it to the dog. The dog drank the water while Ulric peed in the darkness. He returned with a log in his hand and said to the dog, “I wasn’t planning on staring a fire, but it’s still too early to go to sleep, and I’m not in the mood to answer emails. Too many from my sister trying to set me up on dates. I know she means well, but dating doesn’t feel right, right now, and not because I am a closeted gay like my sister sometimes suspects. I only go to that bar once a year because they throw World Series parties. It’s like Chanukah but for sports. Not Jewish either, but I live in a bit of a Jewish neighborhood, so you pick these things up.

Why am I defending myself to you? You’re a dog. You don’t judge.”

The dog barked once in response.

“You really need to go back to your owners. They must be getting worried,” Ulric urged.

The dog found a stick and gave it to Ulric.

“I’m sorry. It’s too late for fetch,” Ulric apologized sincerely. “We’ll play tomorrow,” he promised without thinking. He took note of his words and said, “No, I am leaving at sunrise. You must return to your people. They will play with you.”

The dog wagged his tail enthusiastically.

With a hint of anger in his voice, Ulric replied, “Maybe, burning this stick will get the message across.” He gathered up more tinder and kindling and burned the stick and log in the firepit. Ulric opened a second beer, sat in his chair, and stared at the campfire.

The dog put his head in Ulric’s lap, so Ulric scratched behind its ear. “I’m lucky you’re friendly. I’m carrying a pretty big knife, but I think you’d be able to get to my throat before I could draw my knife if things turned nasty. The dog licked Ulric’s hand, and Ulric said, “We had a golden retriever growing up. We called him Shadow, and he was my best friend, but dogs don’t live forever. Do you have a name?”

The dog sat up and barked.

“What’s your name?” Ulric asked. The bark felt like a yes.

The dog kicked the ground with his back legs, and Ulric responded, “I don’t know what that means.”

The dog rolled on the ground and shook his fur. Dirt and dust flew everywhere.

“Is your name Dirty? No, that’s a stupid name. Dusty. Is it Dusty?” Ulric asked as he waved the dirt away from his face.

The dog barked and Ulric responded, “You’re very intelligent, Dusty.”

Dusty licked his genitalia next to the campfire.

Ulric replied, “Are you playing the fool? Jokes on you. Men would do that if they could. You are only making yourself look smarter.”

Dusty licked Ulric’s hand and Ulric requested, “Could you keep your tongue to yourself?” The dirty dog sat at Ulric’s feet, and the tired man asked, “Do you want to know why I am out here all alone?”

Dusty twitched his tail, so Ulric continued, “I’m a courier. I transport items across the country. The reason I use a campervan is courier vans are targeted by thieves and my company specializes in high value items. I don’t always camp out this far away from the highway though, but the clients asked us to stay off the highways. I’m transporting a relic from New York to LA, and the clients said if I use the highways or plan too much I will be tracked. It’s a magical thing. Magic is real these days. A dragon flew through the sky and then everyone admitted that maybe not all the fairytales were made up.

It’s confusing. We were all told to trust in science, and now we are being told that while science is still true, there’s a bunch of extra truth on top. My brain can’t handle extra truth. I’m just a driver. I can handle driving to LA by feel.

That’s not true. It’s not difficult, and theses mystical client’s money is just as green as any other clients.

They didn’t tell me what the relic is, and that’s okay. Nothing living, or dangerous. Those are the only rules. That and volume and weight requirements, but the relic is a small box that weighs three pounds at most, and that box is in my hidden lock box in the van.

Do I have a place I call home? Do I always travel? You may ask.

I’m a Jersey boy. Grew up on farm in Hunterdon Country, but I live in Jersey City these days. Got a small studio apartment, but the size doesn’t bother me. Even when I’m taking a break from traveling, I don’t sit around at home. There’s always something to do, and my gym is open twenty-four seven. None of the bars are, and that’s a good thing. Can you believe those up tight doctors say two beers a day is a problem?”

Dusty snorted.

“It would be a problem for you. Dog’s aren’t supposed to drink. Maybe, it’s a problem for me as well. I’m a wolf. My name is Ulric Conri Volkov. It means wolf in three different languages. My parents thought they were being cute, but at least they didn’t do it to me alone. My brother’s name is Channing Shaw Volkov. It also means Wolf, Wolf, Wolf. At least I’m not my great grandfather. His name was Valko Volkov. He was a Bulgarian that fell in love with an American nurse and moved back with her after The War. The War being World War Two. She was a black woman who lived to ninety, and it was the family farm they bought that I grew up in.

Where did they get the money? Legend has it great grandpa got his hands on some Nazi gold. Yeah, I know it was all stolen from Jewish teeth, but they were dead, and great grandpa was still alive.

Sorry for getting a little dark, but history always does. You know what. I am going to check my email.”

Uliric stared at his phone for the next hour, put away all his gear, covered the smoldering embers of the fire with dirt, peed on them, cleaned out his mouth with mouthwash, brushed his teeth, and went to bed in the campervan. When he woke up at the crack of dawn the next day, he left the van, peed on the hickory tree, returned to the van and found Dusty sitting inside.

“You’re not coming with me,” Ulric insisted.

Dusty whimpered and Uliric explained, “I’m always on the road, and my apartment doesn’t allow dogs, and you need to go back to your owners anyway. Sure, they may not be as cool as me, but you’re not starving, and they took you out here, so they can’t be all bad.”

Dusty whimpered loudly and barked extremely loudly.

“Quiet, people are still trying to sleep,” Ulric urged. He whispered, “If I take you away, and you’re the pet of some kid who’s out there, I’ll be the one responsible for breaking a child’s heart. Do you want me to be a monster? This is why you give a dog a collar. Maybe, you’re chipped?

Fuck, I am going to have to take you to a vet or something.”

Ulric looked up the location of a veterinarian clinic in the nearby city of Salem. He fed and watered dusty and took him to a café with outdoor seating. Dust sat quietly under the table while Ulric ate his breakfast. They visited the clinic the moment it opened.

At the veterinarian clinic, Ulric learned that Dusty had a mass of fifty kilograms (110lb) and had no microchips in him. The veterinarian insisted that Dusty wear a muzzle while being examined that Dusty accepted without complaint.

Ulric told the veterinarian the story about finding Dusty in the forest, and the veterinarian theorized the dog had been abandoned. Possibly because managing such a large dog was too difficult.

Ulric felt anger at Dusty’s previous owners and agreed to have the dog chipped and registered as his own.

The veterinarian urged insisted that Ulric buy a muzzle and urged him to keep it on whenever he took Dusty in public. “He could end a person’s life with a single bite to the neck. That jaw is all wolf, and it can crush bones,” The veterinarian explained. The veterinarian also insisted that both the owner and the dog take a bath. Ulric took Dusty to a groomer

The groomer had pet store attached to it, so Ulric purchased food and supplies for Dusty before he left.

Dusty sat in the front seat wearing a collar and harness attached to the seatbelt as Ulric drove out of Salem. Both man and beast were smiling.

“Might turn on the news,” Ulric stated when they were on a straight stretch of road. He turned on the digital radio and heard an anchor drone on about the casualties in a foreign war. Ulric turned off the radio and sighed, “Nothing changes. I was in a war once. Drove trucks for the army for twelve years. Worked on them too. Made it all the to staff sergeant, and I was just about to be promoted again when I got injured. Fully blinded in one eye. It took them more than a year to heal it, and by then I had grown fat and too comfortable with civilian life. Worked as mechanic for a while, but the urge for action swelled up inside me once more, and I considered reenlisting, and then a buddy helped me get a job driving armored trucks and then this company headhunted me.

They pay really well for pretty easy work. Haven’t had any trouble since I started. Don’t even have to carry a gun, so I don’t. Had my fill of firearms in the army, but I still carry a bowie knife.

What about you, Dusty? What’s your story?”

Dusty looked out the window at the trees and barked.

“Got any family?” Ulric asked.

Dusty put his paw on Ulric, so Ulric commented, “You dogs move fast, but I did chip you, so I guess you aren’t wrong.

Other than you, I have two parents, a brother, a sister, and nieces and nephews. I have no children of my own, and that’s the way I like it. My entire family lives in New Jersey. My parents, my brother, his wife and kids live on a farm. My sister, her husband, and their kids live in Jersey City. That’s where I live as well. Told you about the tiny apartment, but it’s okay. I’m only renting and not even on a lease. I was thinking about buying a unit in the city, but maybe I could buy a place near my parents and brother. Why do we have to be near my family? Because we don’t know where your family is, that’s why. Anyway, I know we could get a place with space for you to run around near The Farm.

It’s crazy. Pick up another person on the road and think about changing your entire life around for him right away, and you would be called crazy. Tell them you’re changing your life for a dog and they understand, but this feels right. You feel right to me. Gonna have to drop you off for a while with my parents until I can get a new place.”

Dusty whimpered, and Ulric rolled his eyes and replied, “It won’t be long. I’ll start looking for place online once this job is over.” Dusty barked joyfully, so Ulric put on some music.

One hour before sunset on the day Ulric legally claimed Dusty as his own, he parked his van in a creek side campground in Kansas. The campground had shower facilities, so Ulric bathed and changed his clothes while Dusty stood guard.

When Ulric felt fresher, he fed Dusty and made himself dinner over a campfire. After he ate and cleaned up the dishes, Ulric put more wood on the fire and opened a bottle of beer. He spoke to Dusty, “Lot of families with children around. Not as private as where I picked you up, so we shouldn’t swear. Gotta keep the conversation PG in case a kid is listening. What to talk about though?

You ever been married?”

Dusty gave a short sharp bark.

“Does that mean, “No.”?” Ulric asked.

Dusty bark twice and wagged his tail.

“You’re happy about having never been married,” Ulric laughed. He took a swig of beer and stated, “I’ve never been married either. Been engaged. We were going to get married, but after my injury I became a grouchy so and so for a while, so she left me. Or maybe it was because she resented having to drive me everywhere. I couldn’t drive until I was healed, and American man who cannot drive is no man at all. USA! USA!

We weren’t living in Jersey City at the time. We were living in a suburb of Portland with her sister and her husband.

He was a used car salesman, and yes, he was just as slimy as all the stereotypes say they are. He got my fiancée a job at his car lot, and I swear they had an affair, and I felt sorrier for my fiancée’s sister than I did me. The woman was working as a kindergarten teacher at the time, and was sweet as could be, and she was desperate for a baby, and then my wife became pregnant, and I knew it wasn’t mine because a cleaning solution we used in the army left me sterile.

The army denies the cleaning solution causes sterility to this day, but they’ve stopped using it, and some people in congress are making a fuss about it, so long story short it was a false alarm, but my accusing her of having an affair destroyed things, so I moved back to Jersey, and I was able to get better treatment for my eye there.”

Ulric put on a baseball game and checked his email while listening. He spoke to Dusty, “My ex just emailed me. She tells me her sister divorced her old husband and then married a man with children, and they are going to Disneyland, and she knows I often travel to LA, so she wants to know if I want to meet up. What should I say?”

Dusty howled, and Ulric replied, “I don’t know what that means.” Dusty put his head on Ulric’s lap, and Uliric promised as he petted Dusty, “You’re part of the bargain no matter what happens. We won’t go anywhere that isn’t dog friendly.”

Dusty yawned and Ulric announced, “I’m going to tell her we plan on meeting her. I know we aren’t supposed to plan, and stay off the highways, but what does it matter as long as the package gets there.” He put the campfire out and went to bed. Dusty chose to sleep outside.

In the morning, after a quick breakfast, Ulric and Dusty plotted their course to LA. They decided they would drive to a campground outside of Santa Fe, New Mexico and then travel to Phoenix, Arizona from there. The pair made it safely to a campground near Phoenix without incident. They left that campground at sunrise as was their habit.

On Route Ten, in the middle of the day, in the middle of the desert, but not far from the Colorado River, a pickup truck ran Ulric’s van off the road and put it on its side.

Remarkably, Ulric survived the crash without injury. As he struggled to free a stunned Dusty from his harness, a strong man opened the driver side door and pulled Ulric out of the van.

The man placed Ulric on the ground in front of a man in the brown robes of a Catholic monk. Ulric raised his hands as the cowled monk pointed a pistol at him. “Where is it?” the monk asked in a midwestern accent.

Worried about Dusty, Ulric decided not to be a smart ass, and asked, “Do you mean the relic?”

“You may call it a relic, but I call it an offense to God,” the monk replied.

“It’s nothing more than cargo to me. You can have it. Let me get it for you,” Ulric replied.

“Search him,” The monk ordered.

The big strong man wore a Panama hat, T-shirt, and blue jeans. He patted down Ulric and took his knife.

“Suits you,” Ulirc replied.

The big man put the knife in his belt and pulled Ulric to the back of the van.

Ulric attempted to unlock the van door and said to the monk, “I’ve been meaning to have this fixed. I’ve been using the side door, but we can’t use it now because you jokers broke it.”

The big man reached into the back of the pickup truck and pulled out a toolbox; “You will fix it now,” The monk ordered Ulric.

Ulric opened up the toolbox and pulled out a screwdriver. He was not thinking clearly. As he attempted on focusing on opening the door the monk spoke to him, “Do you know what you are carrying? You are carrying the ashes of an abomination unto God. You are carrying the remains of a vampire. This vampire died in a church. And they say she died protecting a family from a gunman. I say such creatures are incapable of such altruism and she was no doubt motivated by the soulless urges that drive all the filth that they call Fae. They are talking about cannoning the creature and making her a saint. They are building a reliquary in the church to house the ashes, but it will take time, so until they are ready, the creatures spawn have colluded with the heathens of the false dragon goddess Sienna’s temple to have the ashes stored there where the Hindus can venerate it alongside the idols of all of their false gods.”

Ulric hit the van door with the hammer, and said, “I’m not really religious, and you can correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think they need her ashes to make her a saint.”

“But their theft will show they are not protected by God. You did the lord’s work when you focused your mind. I could not feel you until then,” The monk explained.

By tearing the latch apart, Ulric managed to get the back door open. He found the cardboard box in the hiding space, took it out, and shoved it into the monk’s arms, “Now, get the fuck out of here,” Ulric demanded.

The monk opened the box, muttered, and grinned. “This is it. Any last words before Goliath kills you?”

“But I gave you what you want,” Ulric pleaded.

“So, you will die quickly. Your corpse will show the weakness of the false gods,” the monk replied.

“What kind of a Christian are you?” Ulric practically screamed. His sweat stung his eyes.

“The kind who knows the true teachings of Christ. He came to cleanse this world, and we continue his holy work. I will give you a chance. Become my disciple and live,” The monk offered.

“How do you feel about dogs? Do you believe dogs have souls?” Ulric asked.

“Dogs are beasts put on this earth to serve under the dominion of Man. They have no souls,” the monk answered.

“Let me free my dog, and then you can kill me. Dogs are our brothers. I could never become the disciple of anyone who thought otherwise,” Ulric replied. He felt at peace. He did not fear death. Freeing Dusty was the last piece of business he had in his life. He knew the intelligent dog would make his way to the river and find a good home.

The monk raised his pistol and answered, “No, I will give you ten seconds to say your prayers, Heathen.”

A blur descended from the van and knocked the monk to the ground. Ulric saw the Dusty had torn the monk’s neck out.

Goliath picked up Dusty and started strangling him, so Ulric took the knife out of Goliath’s belt and stabbed him in the heart. The large man collapsed and let go of Dusty.

Dusty whimpered and shook his fur.

“Are you okay, Boy?” Ulric asked.

Dusty became a blur of blackness and that blackness became a fit, naked, young man with a surprisingly short haircut. The transformed Dusty answered, “I’m okay, but I am going to have to recover in human form for an hour. That monk tasted awful.”

“Would you like some clothes while you recover?” Ulric asked. He did not know what else to say.

“Why not?” Dusty laughed.

Ulric gave Dusty shorts and a shirt. Dusty put on Goliath’s hat and sat next to Ulric. The pair drank from water bottles and sat in the shade of the van.

Seeing the looted hat on Dusty’s head made Ulric think. Twelve years in the army, and my first kill is a man in Arizona. He was hurting Dusty. He had it coming. He calmly asked Dusty as he felt no fear, “Before I call the police, would you mind telling me who and what you are?”

“My Werewolf name is a bunch of growls you would struggle to pronounce, so I’d like you to keep calling me Dusty because that’s what it means. I’m a werewolf, and the forest where I was born was getting overcrowded with my kind, so some of us had to leave. The magic of your van and the smell of your food called to me. It told me you needed me, and we could form a pack of two together, and it wasn’t lying. We’re partners. You and I.”

“You shouldn’t have deceived me into thinking you were an ordinary dog. You let me put a chip in you, and give you a collar,” Ulric stated. He decided he was only angry about being deceived. He did not believe Dusty had deviant intentions.

“Sorry,” Dusty apologized. “Difficult conversations have always been my weakness.”

“You may be a werewolf, but that’s a human trait,” Ulric conceded. “I do not want to call the cops. I want to take the monk’s truck and continue on our mission.”

“Then why don’t you?” Dusty asked sweetly. He put his hands on Ulric’s shoulders.

“Because human society only works when we have respect for the law. Those two thought they were the only ones following God’s laws and nothing else mattered and look how that ended up for them. No, we need to do this properly, and that means telling the authorities what you are. If we are going to stay together, what you are is going to come out sooner or later,” Ulric replied.

“You still want us to be together? You still want to buy a farm in New Jersey?” Dusty asked.

“I said a property. Not a farm, but yes, that’s still the plan, but since you can become a man you will need to work like a man and a dog on the property. We’ll work it out,” Ulric answered.

“How do the deer taste in New Jersey?” Dusty asked.

“You’ll soon find out. You’ll soon find out,” Ulric answered. He patted Dusty’s hand and thought. This feels right. He finished his water and called the police. The incident made front page news, and the ashes made it to the temple safely.

Others joined Ulric and Dusty’s pack, but those are other stories.

The End.